


Maybe I'm Just Too Shy

by unchartedstars



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed, seonghwa is a panicked gay, someone save him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 10:46:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18207353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unchartedstars/pseuds/unchartedstars
Summary: The universe must be laughing at him right now. There’s some big gay god in the big gay sky who was looking at Seonghwa looking at Yeosang with big gay love in his eyes and that big gay god thought wow that kid’s embarrassing. Let’s fuck with him a little.(or, there was a mix-up while booking hotel rooms and Seonghwa and Yeosang end up with one bed instead of two.)





	Maybe I'm Just Too Shy

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me if this isn't coherent it's 3 am and i didn't proofread. 
> 
> (title is from 2shy by shura)

Seonghwa’s never really thought of himself as an unlucky person. And maybe, if he can push himself beyond the wave of panic that’s currently threatening to crash over him and pin him to the metaphorical sand known as _yeah I’m gay keep scrolling,_ Seonghwa could be seen as a very lucky person at the moment.

First, some background information might be helpful. There’s this boy, maybe you’ve heard of him? His name is Kang Yeosang and he is the incarnation of colorful meadows and warm sunshine. He smiles at you with his cheeks and his cute teeth ( _yes_ teeth can be cute please see aforementioned person as a prime example) and his bright eyes and maybe you feel like ascending to a higher plane of existence or just flat out dying. Depends on the day.

Anyways, maybe Seonghwa ( _really really super really_ ) likes Yeosang. Maybe Seonghwa wants to hug him and hold his hand and maybe kiss him a little. It’s anyone’s guess, really.

So you can imagine his (very cool, nonchalant and definitely not overdone) excitement that Yeosang will be his roommate for their tour. Rooming with Yeosang means extra access to smiles and giggles and bad jokes and Seonghwa is lucky. He’s a lucky person.

Except the universe obviously thinks maybe Seonghwa’s gotten too comfortable, too not awkward, and decides to pull some shit on him in Dallas.

They get to their hotel and all is well, it’s nice and everyone seems tired but excited, high on endorphins and nerves. Hongjoong is jittery beside him and Seonghwa thinks Yunho might break Mingi’s spine if he doesn’t stop trying to crawl full-bodied onto the other’s back.

Room keys are distributed by their managers and then they’re sent on their merry ways, bouncing in the elevator ride up to their floor before waving goodbye to one another and entering their respective rooms.

Yeosang is next to him, patting Seonghwa’s right arm softly in what might be a slightly offbeat rendition of _HALA HALA’s_ chorus. Seonghwa has to hold in the urge to coo and instead swipes their room key and lets them inside.

And. Well.

Seonghwa has a record-scratch moment where he feels his entire body freeze, his spirit leaving him and addressing an invisible audience _you’re probably wondering how I got here_ except he has no explanation to offer and he’s sweating in his hoodie despite the AC clearly being on high and where the fuck is the second bed?

The universe must be laughing at him right now. There’s some big gay god in the big gay sky who was looking at Seonghwa looking at Yeosang with big gay love in his eyes and that big gay god thought _wow that kid’s embarrassing. Let’s fuck with him a little._

The bed is fairly wide, probably a queen, and it’s sitting in the center of the room against the wall. There’s a little folded card resting on the white comforter that says _enjoy! :)_ and Seonghwa feels threatened, personally targeted by the hotel staff.

Okay. Pause. Breathe.

Laughing a little hysterically, Seonghwa starts, “Ah… must be a mistake! I’ll just-”

“I’m tired, though, hyung! It’s alright!” Yeosang is looking up at him with sleepy eyes and pursed lips. Seonghwa craves death.

“Uh- I don’t know, Yeosangie-”

Seonghwa stops mid-sentence at the frown on Yeosang’s face. It’s at that moment that he notices the pink hue coloring the other’s cheeks and the way he’s tugging at his fingers nervously from where they peek out of his long sleeves. He knows Yeosang’s probably embarrassed. He’s probably tired and doesn’t want to complain to an overworked staff about something as trivial as there not being separate beds. It’s not like the members don’t exist practically on top of one another at all times, sharing beds and laps and overall personal space.

If this was Hongjoong or San or Yunho or really anyone else, Seonghwa wouldn’t even blink.

But this is Yeosang, who Seonghwa wants to maybe kiss and hold and go on dates with secretly even if those dates are just movie marathons secluded in their dorm.

He can’t exactly say all that, though. Seonghwa’s no expert on social interaction, but he’s pretty positive Yeosang would at least blink at an explanation like that.

So he puts on his _cool hyung_ hat and smiles confidently at the other. “Ah, you’re right. Yeosangie is so smart, there’s no need to bother the staff about this. Let’s just get ready for bed!”

The smile he gets in return is bright enough Seonghwa loses use of his vision for a few seconds.

Twenty minutes later, Seonghwa is propped up on the right side of the bed and watching chaos ensue in San and Mingi’s vlive. He wonders if only one of them will walk out of their room the next day, and which it’ll be. His money is on San.

His heart nearly stops when the bed jerks with the pressure of a new weight. Clutching his chest like an aghast elderly woman, Seonghwa looks over at where Yeosang is now lying on his stomach with his cheek squished against his arm. He must’ve hopped onto the bed, maybe taking a running start from the bathroom and soaring across the room while Seonghwa was busy questioning the safety of his other members. He belatedly notices the other’s matching pajamas and resists the urge to suffocate himself with his pillow.

He has to play it cool, though. It’s just Yeosang. They’re friends. Family, even. It’s chill, right?

Yeosang yawns, back curving prettily like a cat, and digs his knees into the mattress.

They have a balcony, right? Something Seonghwa can throw himself off of?

He’s a rational human being, though, so he just says, “ready to sleep, Sangie?”

A lazy nod is given in return, and then Yeosang is crawling under the covers and nuzzling into his pillow. Angels are singing in Seonghwa’s head as he switches off his phone and scoots to lie down fully. He stares at the ceiling for a few moments in silence that feels weirdly uncomfortable for a pair of close friends. Figuring he can make it out of this intact if he goes to sleep as quickly as possible, Seonghwa turns off the lamp on the bedside table and rolls onto his side so that his back is facing Yeosang.

There’s a moment where all he can hear is the other’s breathing, a slight hitch disrupting the rhythm and making Seonghwa wonder if Yeosang wants to say something. The thought passes as quickly as it comes when no sound follows.

He must have only been sleeping for around thirty minutes when he feels light pressure against the nape of his neck, tickling the hairs there. He shifts slightly and the pressure is gone, accompanied by a low gasp and restless movement behind him. Curious, he rolls over and sees Yeosang facing away and curled tightly in a ball. All that’s visible in the darkness is tufts of hair sticking out of the covers, and Seonghwa is overcome with sudden concern that Yeosang can’t possibly breathe with his entire body concealed like that.

Feeling some of his earlier nerves dissipate, he places a hand on what is probably Yeosang’s back and moves it in soothing circles. A whisper falls from his lips and hangs between them in the darkness, “you okay?”

Seconds pass, then a minute, and Seonghwa thinks maybe Yeosang really is asleep. Feeling worried but unsure how to help, he chooses to try and fall back asleep, maybe confront the other in the morning when they’re getting ready.

He wakes up again sometime later, clearly still early enough that there’s no glow of sunlight behind their curtains. He’d moved to his back at some point after falling asleep. When his delayed senses catch up to him, he takes notice of the weight resting along the curve of his body and against the junction between his shoulder and chest.

He blinks once. Then a few more times. Then several more, because-

That’s Yeosang. Lying against him with his nose pressed into the fabric of Seonghwa’s shirt and hair brushing his collarbone. Seonghwa feels his cheeks heat up in realization and lightly bites his hand to keep from reacting like a complete dork.

What do you do when your probable (love of your life) crush is curled against you and making your heart do an entire gymnastics routine in the confines of your chest? A movie directed by Park Seonghwa.

He realizes belatedly, almost as an afterthought, that maybe Yeosang had wanted to do this earlier. Maybe that was why the other had been wound so tightly and positioned as far away as the expanse of the bed would allow. The situation feels a little ridiculous, because none of them ever worried about things like this. If Yeosang had wanted to cuddle, he wouldn’t normally feel ashamed to ask, right?

Seonghwa has his own reasons for wanting to keep his distance. Very lame and dramatic reasons, but still. He has them.

Yeosang, though? Bizarre.

Nonetheless, Seonghwa can’t resist the opportunity to press a light kiss to the crown of Yeosang’s head. He leaves his lips there a moment and closes his eyes. Content. He feels content.

Until there’s sudden movement and Yeosang’s head abruptly tilts upward and knocks into Seonghwa’s chin.

“Seonghwa hyung?! Are you okay?” Yeosang’s voice is as panicked as it is disoriented and soon there’s pressure on Seonghwa’s chest as the other leans over him to switch on the lamp. Seonghwa barely notices, too busy holding his poor chin and ignoring the pulsing pain traveling up his jaw. He feels another set of hands join his own against his jaw before moving up to his cheeks and smoothing over them.

Seonghwa opens his eyes and looks directly into Yeosang’s worried ones. He takes in the way the younger is now on his knees and leaning over Seonghwa, expression reminiscent of someone who’s crashed into someone else’s car and doesn’t have the insurance to cover any damages. Yeosang’s hands are still on Seonghwa’s cheeks, and they’re trembling ever so slightly.

Seonghwa suddenly feels irritated. Why is this so hard?

“Why is this so hard?” Yeosang grumbles through a frustrate pout.

Oh. Well.

“W-What do you mean, Yeosang?” Better to play dumb than make yourself look dumb. It makes sense, trust him.

Yeosang merely continues pouting and moves his hands to Seonghwa’s chest. They bunch up the fabric of Seonghwa’s shirt before letting go entirely. He plops bodily back onto the bed and rolls onto his side. He looks decidedly nervous. “Hyung, I just- uh. The members do stuff like this all the time, right? So why does this feel so weird?”

The question catches Seonghwa off guard, mostly because it feels like Yeosang is pulling the words directly from Seonghwa’s mind and it seems like an unrealistic plot twist for Yeosang to be able to read minds but  _oh god_ what if he can? Has he heard all of the grossly soft thoughts Seonghwa has about him? What about the other week when Seonghwa had been internally squealing like the embarrassment he was because Yeosang had borrowed his shirt and worn it to dance practice? Seonghwa has to leave the group now-

“Seongie hyung? Please say something, I’m feeling really awkward right now.”

Seonghwa removes himself from his horrifying train crash of a thought process and takes a moment to process the look in Yeosang’s eyes.

Hm. He checks his phone quickly for the time. 4:56 AM.

Perfect time for this, he supposes.

“Well,” Seonghwa starts, “it might have to do with the fact I don’t really want to kiss the others? Or like, a smooch or two might not hurt, but with you uh- yeah I don’t know I kinda feel like dying and maybe I want to hold your hand or something. Just a little.”

Silence. (Agony.)

Seonghwa stares at Yeosang staring at him and waits for the moment the other starts laughing or asks to switch roommates with someone else. He waits for the disgust or, knowing Yeosang, the polite rejection complete with placating smiles and consoling compliments.

What he gets instead is, “Can’t we just kiss, then?”

Seonghwa doesn’t respond, just gapes at Yeosang with his mouth open like he was at the dentist and got shot up with novocaine. Yeosang doesn’t elaborate, only looks back at Seonghwa with his head tilted and his round cheeks dusted rosy.

There doesn’t seem to be anything else to do but kiss him. So he does.

Yeosang falls against him, lying half on top of him with the fingers of his left hand curled into the neckline of Seonghwa’s shirt. Seonghwa’s sleep addled brain can barely process anything other than _soft soft soft warm Yeosang soft warm Yeosang he’s kissing me Yeosang-_

When they eventually pull away, they just look at each other in silence again. A common theme for them, apparently.

Finally, Seonghwa says something very intelligent: “Huh. That was. Yeah.”

A breathy laugh spills from Yeosang’s mouth in response, and then he’s reaching past Seonghwa to turn off the lamp again and collapsing comfortably into Seonghwa’s side. Fingers brush Seonghwa’s own and intertwine with them against his stomach.

He hears a whispered _there, problem solved_ and before he can concern himself with whatever just happened, they’re both succumbing to their exhaustion.

As they’re leaving their hotel room the next morning, he feels Yeosang’s hand briefly wrap around his own and squeeze, a soft smile on his lips. Then the door is opening and they’re being swept up in the managers’ urgings to get down to the vans parked outside and the promise of a concert happening in a matter of hours.

Seonghwa bites his lip to hide his smile.

They can talk about it later.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the ending feels rushed dlkfgjsd i wrote this in like an hr and now i'm gonna pass out. hope you liked it, though! xx
> 
> edit: i have a twitter now just to ramble about my own writing fkdkf follow if want @sunshinejoong


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